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“Our First Sexual Experiences”



Ijeoma Okeke

There is always a first time for everything, including sex.

Conversations about sex in Nigeria used to be held very discretely and it was publicly expected that only married couples should indulge in sex but it appears that people are beginning to discuss sex more openly and younger people are having sex as singles.

Media girl, Toke Makinwa recently said she had sex for the first time when she was 13 years old. The multi-talented media personality said this while answering questions on her vlog, Toke Moments. An individual’s first sexual experience can happen as a result of peer group influence/ advice, intimidation from family members, alcohol, sexual abuse and love or lust.

Several people shared their first sexual experience with Olushola John said that his first sexual experience was triggered by the fact that he was betrayed by his ex-girlfriend who was intimate with his friend. He said “I am thirty years old and I am single. The first time I had sex was at the age of twenty-five and it was because I loved my ex girlfriend. I realised my first girlfriend was having sex with my friend just because we couldn’t do it and it taught me a lesson. So the next relationship I entered I was ready for it. I didn’t regret having sex with her because I later found out that she was seeing other guys.”

He added, “The reason i am not yet married is because I haven’t meet my preferred choice yet. I was in a relationship before but the lady broke my heart.

“Keeping yourself is all about individual detremination. It is proper for people to have sex before marriage because if you don’t, you will give room to unfaithfulness and cheating though biblically it is wrong.”

A 25-year-old marketer, Bolade Kazeem said “I started having sex at the age of 17. It wasn’t love. I was seduced by an older lady, She was 20-year-old. Everything just happened suddenly, I enjoyed it and at the same I gained experience for the first time.”

“Sex is a good thing but my girlfriend and I are abstaining till we get married because she is a virgin. So what we do most times is romance and foreplay.I love giving her head but it doesn’t lead to sex.

“Though there are times I have the urge for it but I control it because sex does not move me that much. It’s because of the love I have for her that I respect her decision not to have sex. It is not easy,” Kazeem added.

A 26-year-old lady, Bimpe Tosin said, “I lost my virginity at the age of 23. The reason is because of peer influence. My friends were always complaining of the fact that I am getting old and I should try it. The first time was actually painful but I enjoyed it and I also felt I was old enough for it.”

“I don’t really like sex and my boyfriend understands me. I believe people who are addicted to sex aren’t normal because it is not food and there is time for everything even though people are different.

“We do it once in a while and it comes with mixed feelings. It is painful and sweet at the same time. My advice is that once you an adult, you can have sex. Currently it is nothing because even people who are underaged engage in it,” she said.

However, Abiodun Bankole a 27-year-old man said he had been having sex since the age of 10 because of his parental upbringing.

He said, “ I started having sex at the age of 10. I love sex a lot because it is sweet. I really don’t know why I love sex but it’s just God.

“The reason I had sex that early was because I watched my parents do it. We were staying in a room and my mum would always scream at the top of her voice while I watched them having sex. They didn’t allow me sleep most times so during that period I started having the urge for it. I was the first born then and the only child and seeing them like that gave me the urge, I just love sex a lot.

“I start to cum at the age of 10 and was ready to sleep with any lady that came my way. It started from my village. We had sex in the bush and river. It was never a problem and even up till now sex is important to me”

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Another person, Scodo Collins told our correspondent that he started having sex at the age of twelve because of his rapid growth and maturity at a tender age.

He said“ The lady I had sex with was older than me. I was 12 then and she was 22 but I looked older than my age. She would play porn for us to watch knowing it would lead to sex no matter how we tried to avoid it.”

“I was new to it but enjoyed it and was getting used to it as the lady in question was a sex addict. I was gaining experience and at the same time having fun.”

“Sex is not bad, we can’t avoid it. Once you are in a relationship, it is bound to happen except if you are really determined not to have it. I can’t stop having sex because I am now used to it”

A lady, Felicia Daniels said “I love my boyfriend and he really tried for me. We had been dating for three years without sex, so I had to lose my virginity to him because it was worth it. And I enjoyed it.

“When one talks about intimacy with the opposite sex, it starts with our requirements and preferences; the chemistry. We want someone who cares about us, shares the same hobbies and has sense of humor.

“Once we click and connect, we desire to spend more time with them and in the process things happen. But pre-marital sex is against our religion even though people don’t care anymore. Some people even ensure that their bride is pregnant before marriage, so it’s individual choice.”

18-year-old Jumoke Bamidele said she started having sex at the age of 15 because she wanted to know what it felt like.

“I started having sex at the age of fifteen because I wanted to know what it felt like. It was painful but as time went on, I got used to it.

“There were times my urge for it was really high. I couldn’t do without going out with the opposite sex. But it’s all in the past.

“Both men and women can’t do without sex because we can’t avoid it, but it should be done mostly by married couples,” she said.

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